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What a Waste! Lefty Ivy League School Spending a Million To Study Racist Video Game Hair!

Note: This article may contain commentary or the author's opinion.

I got my first video game console for my house in 1980. It was the original Atari 2600. Not to sound like the old guy on his lawn, cause right now I am the old guy in his office, but I much prefer the old system like the 2600 to anything developed today.

Games now are just too hard to play without devoting crazy amounts of time to practice. What fun is getting smoked five minutes into Call of Duty?

The games that followed the Atari, including the Nintendo, the Sega Master and Dreamcast system, the Nintendo 64, and the original Sony Playstation all offered games you could just pick up and play without needing hours of practice to enjoy.

Perfect for busy adults that just wanted to occasionally unwind, and for the younger generation that could at times have short attention spans.

As games evolved, so did the difficulty, hardware and software. Newer games were just too difficult to pick up and play. Oh, and don’t forget about the racism, particularly where female black hair is concerned. Wait, what?

Apparently, some of the decision makers at one of our high-level institutions of learning have decided to tackle the vexing issue of why black girls in video games have, well, black girls hair. I’m not making this up. I wish I was. Check this out from The College Fix:

Professor Theodore Kim “will lead a group that will investigate the algorithmic representation of Type 4 hair as a uniquely anti-racist problem,” the university announced. “Type 4 hair” refers to a type of hair typical of black women.

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What a proud moment that had to be for Professor Kim, and who better to crack that case than an Asian man? One of the age-old issues facing our nation and perhaps the world, and the job for finding the solution is dropped at his desk. Dr Kim gets to solve the issue of why Shanice’s hair in GTA looks like Shanice’s hair from fourth period Gender Studies.

Hard hitting stuff here, folks. Meanwhile the Chinese and the Russians are teaching their schools about the evils of the West (us), and we are more worried more with why Navaeh got her feelings hurt because the prostitute getting ran over in GTA doesn’t have the right hair.

Scared yet, you should be! We are falling so far behind the rest of the world we may not get caught back up. Lefty places like Yale should be prepping future world leaders, captains of industry, and engineers to take us into the next generation. Instead, playing video games. Cool!

Professor Kim stated in the news release that “this research will serve as an example of how to identify the products of systemic racism in computer graphics and demonstrate how to take concrete steps to ameliorate their harm.”

“The tools and algorithms we aim to develop will allow the full range of human hair, in its elegant variation and diversity, to be faithfully represented in film and games,” he stated.

I could go on, rail at the ridiculousness, warn of the impending issues facing our country that our leaders are ignoring in deference to people’s feelings, but why? Who is feeling harm from video game hair? People with no hair? Maybe we could spend this money figuring out how fellows of a certain age (me) can get some of that black girl video game hair. I’d take it!

We all know what is going on in these places. Find your kid a school that doesn’t indoctrinate. Find your kid a school that will teach boys how to be men and girls how to be ladies, not vice versa.

Nothing stops until the money stops. And if the money stops flowing into useless programs in places like Yale, then maybe they will shift back to something useful. Until then, I’d prefer a Community College.