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No “Franks and Beans” on the Menu for Alabama Sorority Rush Week!

Note: This article may contain commentary or the author's opinion.

Just when you think we are making “progress” as a society, count on the lovely ladies at the University of Alabama to ruin it!

It’s the legendary sorority rush week at Alabama, and you know what that means! Young girls desperate for acceptance, spend loads of their parent’s money to be humiliated by other mean girls! Fun!

Recently, one brave warrior attempted the impossible. Following in the footsteps of trailblazing Lia Thomas, the first man to successfully breach the girls locker room, another noble explorer attempted to con his way into an Alabama sorority.

Sadly, our hero was shot down in a blaze of glory after only two days, despite overwhelming support on TikTok. So much for progress. Let’s check Outkick for the details:

Just months after the transgender drama at the University of Pennsylvania where Lia Thomas won a swimming national championship over biological females, along comes University of Alabama biological male student Grant Sikes to attempt the unthinkable.

Sikes spent last week trying to obtain a bid to join an Alabama sorority which is pretty much like winning a national championship within the sorority business. On TikTok, where Alabama Rush Week has turned into a sporting event, Sikes was the big content winner by racking up several million views by documenting the journey to get that elusive bid.

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It would be too obvious to point out one of Grant’s first mistakes; the name change, or rather lack thereof. Grant, buddy, you can’t expect to fool a bunch of super smart college girls by using your real name! You have to think this through!

At least Lia Thomas was savvy enough to change his/her name. Perhaps that can be a lucrative side gig for Thomas after all the swimming money dries up; mentoring sneaky young dudes that want a peek into the elusive girls locker room. Lia tried and succeeded. He/she would have much to offer in the way of advice. Almost like a modern day, really tall Yoda.

By the weekend, it became apparent that a biological male would not get a bid into the illustrious Alabama sorority world.

“I’m hopeful of a future where everyone is welcomed for just being themselves – everywhere,” Sikes continued. “If you are going through a hard time today, remember that life is too short to ponder on the things lost. Choose happiness & always look for the positive things throughout life. Move on. See the good. See the bad. Hope for the best. Brave the worst.”

Alas, the journey ends. So close to fulfilling so many young men’s ultimate dream. On a serious note, the subsequent message Sikes sent to his Instagram followers displayed a level of maturity and thoughtfulness that probably wouldn’t have fit in well in a sorority house anyway.

From my (limited) experience sorority girls spend most of their time being mean and catty for no good reason.

“Unfortunately, this chapter is closed,” Sikes announced on Instagram. “This recruitment journey is over for me. Being dropped from my last house this morning during primary recruitment at the University of Alabama doesn’t come as a surprise considering out of the almost 20 chapters – I was dropped by every single one except 2 before day 1.”

A sad ending to an improbable journey for Grant Sikes. You were an inspiration sir and should hold your well-coiffed head high with pride. You fought the good fight but lost. At least you can take the million plus TikTok followers you have and the income stream with you. Roll Tide!