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Love Twitter? Buy a Piece of the Old Office During Twitter Corporate Office Liquidation

Note: This article may contain commentary or the author's opinion.

Who doesn’t love a good sale, right? Labor Day, President’s Day, Black Friday, any chance to save a buck on stuff you don’t need is awesome! What about if you didn’t have to go to the mall, or wait in line on Black Friday, or physically assault someone for the last George Foreman grill? The new look of Twitter is making it possible! That is, if you desire something from the Twitter corporate location. Elon is having a clearance sale!

Elon Musk took over Twitter recently, and immediately set about making the leftist platform fairer and more equitable. He also slashed a large portion of the whiny, entitled leftist workforce, and ended many of their wholly unnecessary perks. Gone are the free, unlimited lunches, despite the salty tears and wet diapers of the libs actually left with a job. Not only the lunches, but the espresso machines, fancy sit/stand desks, and other sweet merch that will be available to the public via Twitters first ever auction! Check this out and get your Visa card ready!

The Twitter corporate surplus auction is here and it’s your chance to get a piece of the old Twitter headquarters before Elon Musk walked in and gutted the place.

The auction consists of unnecessary items like office furniture, multiple espresso machines, kitchen equipment, sit-stand desks, and Kegerators.

Elon is seeking to make Twitter actually profitable for once in its existence, so trimming the fat labor wise made sense. Also scaling down the work environment so it is more like actual work does as well. Perhaps a bake sale or a car wash is in the future too? Anything to keep the new Twitter afloat!

So, what are some of the goodies for sale?

The auction, conducted by Heritage Global Partners, begins January 17 and will last a day before the items are sent packing to new homes. Keep in mind that buyers are responsible for removing the items and shipping.

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Don’t waste your money spending $8 a month on a blue checkmark. Buy this 46″W x 41″H x 12″D Twitter logo bird.

Recharge your phone like a woke Twitter engineer with one of these recharge bikes. But remember, this auction is for TWO BIKES, so you and a fellow woke can recharge and get some exercise at the same time. Save the environment and get a full charge at the same time. Then go brag about it to your fellow lib libs who haven’t left Twitter.

Save the earth with this planter that will have guests talking at your next woke cocktail party.

Who doesn’t want or need treasures like these? Besides Twitter, of course. There are numerous other, less sexy items for auction, like undercounter refrigerators and ice machines, but we all already have those! I’m going to throw my bid out there for the phone charging bike so I can get my exercise and keep my phone charged while I Tweet about how much I love the new Twitter. Leftist tears are my favorite flavor, and the Twitter auction should make them flow like a mountain stream.

Featured image screengrab from embedded Tweet