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Free Weekend? SatanCon Sold Out in Boston As American Culture Continues Skid

Note: This article may contain commentary or the author's opinion.

As we stand on the precipice of global warfare, economic ruin, and the perversion of gender roles, including the open indoctrination of children, some people are starting to say ‘stop’! Not the people in Boston, Massachusetts, however. They have sold out the annual SatanCon! Cool!

Just in case anyone needed any further proof that Western Culture was in full decline, the annual SatanCon, a festival of creepy people that claim to worship Satan, has sold out in Boston in April. The event, which runs April 28 through the 30th, is described as  “a weekend of blasphemy and remembrance in Boston.” One more reason besides the crime, homelessness, and liberal to avoid Boston!

As if American culture could be any more under assault, you have a group of hairy-arm-pitted women and overweight bearded men living in their moms basement long enough to Uber downtown and “hail Satan”. Sound like a good weekend to NOT visit Boston. Of course, like I said that is every weekend.  Check this out.

The Satanic Temple (TST) has announced that SatanCon 2023, “a weekend of blasphemy” to be held in Boston this April, has sold out.

SatanCon 2023 will be held at the Boston Marriott Copley Place on April 28-30, the TST website states, hyping the meeting as “a weekend of blasphemy and remembrance in Boston.”

The convention, which the Satanic Temple has touted as the “largest Satanic gathering in history,” will celebrate TST’s ten-year anniversary and features talks on Satanism in Rural America, Reclaiming the Trans Body, and Satanism and Self-Pleasure.

There are plenty of fun, wholesome-ish festivals that utilize “con”. SantaCon and ComicCon come to mind. SantaCon is a fun, Santa themed bar crawl, and while ComicCon features some sketchy comic book nerds, at least they aren’t into sacrificing children.

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This year’s iteration features a theme that is particularly disturbing, especially if you have morals, or an actual soul. Then again, did I mention Boston is a super left city?

The theme of this year’s convention is “Hexennacht in Boston” or “Witches Night,” an ancient Bavarian holiday celebrated on April 30, the eve of the Christian feast day of Saint Walpurga, on which revelers dress as witches and demons.

The SatanCon 2023 event will include a “Satanic Ball” on the opening night, April 28, and will also feature a Satanic Marketplace.

My understanding is we already have a fun, demonic holiday where people dress as witches and demons in October. Are Satanists going to be lobbying for an entire month like Black History or the lgbtq crowd? The Satanic Ball likely will feature the scariest selection of folks this side of the nuthouse.

What can one expect to find in the Satanic Marketplace? Eye of Newt? Where’s PETA when you need them? Assuming a Newt is an animal. I have no idea, as my experience worshiping Satan is limited to exactly none.

Perhaps old “Scratch” isn’t such a bad fella after all? Satan is responsible and cares about his fellow man, so he has some interesting stipulations for entry, so hold on and check your paperwork before purchasing your aftermarket tickets for the Satan ball.

SatanCon attendees must be 18 or older and have proof of the coronavirus vaccination, according to the website. Attendees are obliged to wear an N-95, KN-95, or disposable surgical mask. Gaiters, bandanas, and cloth masks are not allowed.

Indeed, even Satan doesn’t want any of these weirdos getting covid and darkening his doorway anytime soon. He probably already has enough problems with the liberals and the pro-abortion people waiting to get in. Speaking of which:

The Satanic Temple has made abortion rights its flagship project, arguing that abortions must be allowed, even where illegal, as part of a “religious ritual.”

TST bases its support for abortion on the belief that “non-viable fetal tissue is part of the pregnant person and is free to be voluntarily removed.”

Last month, the Satanic Temple launched TST Health, the first-ever religious abortion clinic network.

“Samuel Alito’s Mom’s Satanic Abortion Clinic” was established in New Mexico on February 14, 2023, offering virtual appointments and guidance for “those who wish to participate in TST’s Satanic Abortion Ritual in states where abortion has been banned.

There you go. Just like peanut butter and jelly, Satan and abortion go together. As if you needed any more proof, they are literally telling you so. It all begs the question, why? If you believe in Satan, then you are compelled to believe in God. God is undefeated, so these folks have picked the wrong team.

If these misguided souls are willing to push all of their chips to the middle of the table on a hand of three sixes, that’s their prerogative, I suppose. At least we won’t have to put up with them in Heaven. Just Boston.