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Black Boards Matter: Whiteboards Now Considered Racist

Note: This article may contain commentary or the author's opinion.

Raise your hand if you had white boards being racist on your 2022 bingo card. Nope, me neither, but bizzaro world strikes again.

Everything is racist these days. I mean, everything that has to do with people of color. Apparently, you can’t be racist against white people; white privilege and all.

Next thing you know, snow is going to be considered a racist, postmodern, systemic construct used as a symbol of oppression against people of color. Count me in on that one, I hate snow. I’ll be on the front line of those protests, though I imagine I will be by myself. Antifa HATES the cold.

Remember the blackboard we all grew up using? That gritty, scratchy, dusty board at the front of the room; those of us that weren’t so smart tried to avoid that board at all costs.

Now that I think about it, the chalk was usually white. White privilege once again!

Eventually technology advanced and the black board gave way to the dry erase white board. Unfortunately, now the white board has been revealed for the racist construct it is. Yep, the white board.  They always figure us out!

Let’s hit up Breitbart for the ridiculous details:

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According to a report from Campus Reform, case study “Observing Whiteness in Introductory Physics Class” challenges the notion of whether the classroom whiteboard is a racist tool.

The study, published in March in Physical Review Physics Education Research, observed three students solving a physics problem and attempted to determine how “whiteness” could be ingrained in academia.

Whiteboards, according to the study, are tools which are predisposed to have “racist undertones” and can “perpetuate whiteness.”

Now, this almost sounds like a “Tim and Eric” skit, so I’m not getting out too far over my skis in outrage, however I am intrigued.

Steven Crowder famously did a troll job on academia called “Fatness as Self-Care in the Era of Trump” that got published, and Crowder invited to speak at a “Fat Studies” conference at Massey University in New Zealand. Hilarious and pure genius.

I reserve the right to be skeptical about the hilarity or genius of the white board as a racist social construct, however.

Study authors in their report argued that “whiteboards display written information for public consumption; they draw attention to themselves and in this case support the centering of an abstract representation and the person standing next to it, presenting.”

“They collaborate with white organizational culture, where ideas and experiences gain value (become more central) when written down,” the authors continued.

This type of word salad, while attempting to sound learned, is just a lot of words trying to prove a stupid point.

A white board is an inanimate object, and thus cannot physically, and consciously draw attention to itself, since it possesses no sense of “self”.

Throwing out an idea like “white organizational culture” is inherently racist itself, because the implication is implied that black people do not have the ability to organize themselves.

See, I can toss a word salad and say nothing too!

Further, the authors argued that the “invisible nature of whiteness is a primary means through which white dominance goes unchallenged” and noted that “making whiteness visible is one way to disrupt white dominance.”

Lots of words, little content. My thought is at best this is a spoof, and at worst it’s people who believe this nonsense, meaning academia is likely broken beyond repair.

That being the case, I propose an immediate and permanent return to blackboards. Black Boards Matter!